Lost Moments
by cupofdaydream
Summary: A collection of one-shots exploring the progression of Mai and Zuko's relationship. Ratings and length will vary.
1. Remembering Home

**Hi there, I'm planning on turning this into a big set of drabbles of "Lost Moments" between Zuko and Mai. Rating set at T for now, though it could be subject to change in the future. **

**Reviews and constructive criticism is always welcome.**

**-E**

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**Chapter 1: Remembering Home**

Zuko decided that he had definitely not missed Azula's schemes during banishment. Her plots usually ended with him covered head to toe in mud, soaking wet, and marching away with a wounded pride. He knew immediately, from the warmth creeping to his cheeks, that something was up when the only other person to show up to dinner was _her_. But despite his suspicions, and the bushes that seemed to giggle, he decided to take a seat at the table. He was kind of hungry, anyways, and if he learned one thing during banishment, it was to not let perfectly good food go to waste.

After sampling what was on his plate, he realized that he'd missed the taste of home. The food was, though he didn't care to admit it, much better than the food he had been subjected to eat for the last few months. It wasn't seasoned quite right, but he decided that it didn't matter too much. Besides, once Azula and her friends left, it would be back to Earth Kingdom food.

Off-key music began to play, and he looked up, suddenly remembering that _she_ was still there. The Mai he remembered from years ago would blush, and stutter, and softly giggle at the jokes Azula played on him, and give him the occasional bashful glance which he vaguely remembered returning. In fact, he found himself timidly glancing up at her now. This Mai was different. This Mai held her head high, and was proud in her manner of walking. This Mai spoke with an even and steady voice, this Mai didn't look at him at all. But Zuko found himself curious. He wondered if her hair was as soft as it looked, or if her amber-gray eyes, which were fixed upon the plate in front of her, were just as he remembered them.

The Dai Li agent stumbled over a few notes.

He found himself wanting to talk to her, to ask her how she'd been these past three years.

Another wrong note.

Zuko cleared his throat.

A flat note.

"Almost tastes like Fire Nation food. Just isn't seasoned enough," the wrong words left his mouth.

Zuko felt his pulse flutter as those amber-gray eyes turned to him. Her tongue flicked across the ends of her chopsticks, and she opened her mouth to speak-

A painfully sharp note.

Mai grimaced and Zuko's face burned.

"Can you please stop that? You're giving me a headache!" he complained to the Dai Li agent. The man apologized, and shuffled away.

The bushes snickered and Zuko felt the heat in his cheeks rise. He got up to leave. "I know you're back there Azula! Don't you have something more important to do?" he yelled. _He_ certainly had more important things to do than get laughed at by his sister and make small talk with old acquaintances. He was done going along with his little sister's dumb games.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I was just telling Ty Lee- "

As he took a step to exit the garden, a hand brushed against his sleeve.

And then, in a barely audible voice, "Let's get out of here."

He hesitated, "Good idea," he replied. He was, after all, just leaving.

* * *

They wandered to the Middle Ring, browsing the shops and stalls in silence, the occasional comment made between the two. Much to his discontent, the streets were familiar to him. He knew exactly how to get to that old noodle shack he and Uncle used to go to, he recognized the stall owned by the woman his Uncle would occasionally flirt with, and he was well aware that the old tea house was just a left around the corner. He took a right instead. In that moment, he decided that after his sister left for home, he'd leave Ba Sing Se; he never liked this city in the first place. He hated the food, he hated the smell, and he hated the sluggish, loud crowds. A baby was crying, two women were trying to haggle, someone behind them was calling out after someone named Lee.

Lee…where had he heard that name before?

"Lee, I can't believe it! It's been so long!"

Oh, right.

"Lee?" An amused voice drawled.

"Oh…Hi, Jin…umm…err. This is just my friend from…the circus," Zuko laughed nervously, "Yeah, she's the knife thrower," he inched away towards a side alley, trying to make an escape. Sweet freedom was tangible just as he felt two hands on his back, leading him towards a familiar fountain.

"Here, I'll show you," Mai obliged Jin, "Go stand over there, _Lee_," Zuko could _hear_ the smirk on her lips.

She turned him around, her hands resting on his shoulders for a moment. Zuko almost shivered as those amber-gray eyes looked him up and down.

"Hmm…Still not quite right," Suddenly, there was a fish on Zuko's head, "Better."

Mai made her way back to Jin, an icicle in hand.

"You see, it's all in the wrist, really," she let the icicle fly.

Zuko held his breath and closed his eyes. The icicle impaled his face. He was dead, surely he was dead.

"Wow! That was amazing!" was that Jin's voice?

Zuko inhaled, and after coming to the conclusion that he was, in fact, not dead, he marveled in his new found appreciation for life. He was safe.

"You wanna try, Jin?"

He spoke too soon.

This time, as the icicle came soaring towards his face, he was quite positive that to stay still would mean that he really would die this time around.

Turning to move, he slipped and landed in the fountain. He struggled for air under the frigid water, emerging to the most peculiar sound: laughter. He peered up at her, through wet bangs and with burning cheeks. And she looked down at him, a grin on her face.

"Now we're even,"

He sprung up out of the fountain, and with a cackle she took off down a side street.

_Girls are crazy_, he thought as he chased after her.

She was much faster than Zuko anticipated. He trailed behind her, his breath labored as he struggled to keep her within sight.

Zuko grumbled. He didn't remember chasing down the Avatar ever being _this_ strenuous.

"Are you crazy?!" Zuko called after her, "You could have gotten me killed!"

Laughter was her response.

"Whatever, Lee," Mai spoke breathily.

"Just stop for a sec!"

She slowed, giving him a chance to catch up. His hand came up to grab her shoulder, to ensure that she wouldn't leave him again.

Zuko felt the color rising to his again, vaguely noticing the same on Mai's cheeks, and he became suddenly aware of how close in proximity they were to each other. He quickly turned away to hide his face, massaging the hand that had, only moments ago, been touching Mai's shoulder because it, too, now burned.

"You finally seem to be enjoying yourself," he spoke softly, "I've missed seeing this side of you," and it was true. This was the little girl from all those years ago. The little girl he had left behind three years ago in the Fire Nation.

"Well, a lot has changed since the day when I used to throw mud in your face,"

She was right. The scar on Zuko's face ached. Three years ago, things were very different. He had pride, he had honor. His uncle didn't hate him, he had had –or he thought he had, at least- his father's love. Three years ago, this scar didn't define his life.

A soft hand cupped his cheek.

"But not everything's changed," her voice as whisper as she drew nearer to him, their foreheads touching. He gazed into those familiar, amber-gray eyes, watching as they closed, unaware of his eyes doing the same. There was a sort of completeness, an ache soothed, when he felt her lips brush against his. He froze for a moment, before kissing her again, this time, her arms encircling his neck, and his hands finding their seemingly natural place on her waist.

They lost track of time, reluctantly returning to the palace long after dark had settled in. Avoiding Azula and Ty Lee's knowing smiles, they stole one final kiss before parting ways to each of their respected bed chambers. Zuko lay in bed, his lips tingling as he replayed the last few moments of the night in his head. He could not forget the softness of her lips, and her scent still lingered. Zuko found himself missing her again.


	2. Sunrise and Sunset

**A post-war drabble. Thanks for reading.**

**-E**

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**Chapter 2: Sunrise and Sunset**

The palace is bathed in white.

White robes, white sheets, white walls. The corridors are silent, the torches don't burn, no one feeds the turtle ducks.

And it breaks Zuko's heart.

Mai refuses to wear the white mourning robes, earning her questioning, almost shameful glances from the servants. As soon as she can walk again, she immediately attends to her routine duties. She immerses herself in the paperwork and finances, sending a letter to the Earth King regarding the borders while Zuko grieves. The servants are kept busy with her demands, she even begins to tend to the palace gardens, a chore she always found monotonous. And when Mai thinks no one is watching, Zuko finds her standing over the empty cradle.

Zuko spends the national week of mourning wandering the palace. It doesn't feel right to immediately return to everyday life, but he can't bear to stand still, not in this moment. So he spends his days drifting through empty hallways trying to forget.

He tries to forget how she arrived much too early, how he could hold her with one hand. He tries to forget the silence that filled the room the moment she entered the world, or the softness of the doctor's words when he told them that she wouldn't last the night. The coolness of her skin. The moment her tiny chest ceased to rise. The emptiness in his heart, and the emptiness in his wife's eyes. Zuko desperately tries to forget it all.

Mornings are hardest. To see the light of a new day is painful knowing that his daughter never saw the sunrise. She never even opened her eyes. Zuko grows to resent the birds and their cheery morning songs; why should they sing when his daughter never once cried out? Most mornings the bed is cold, Zuko wakes up to Mai in the same position he left her the night before: curled to the side, her tired, empty eyes staring out into the distance. Some mornings, he'll embrace her cold body with his own, pressing his lips to her swollen eyes, trying to wake her from her trance. Some mornings, he can't find the strength to console them both, and he leaves because his cold bed and his cold wife are like a stake through his chest.

It's the day of the funeral. The ceremony is set to take place at sunset. Zuko is getting dressed in his much too white robes inside his much too quiet bedroom when Mai storms through the door.

"It's about time that this week ended," there's tension in her voice as she pulls at the sheets off their bed, "We can finally get rid of these stupid, white sheets," she throws a bundle of blankets of to the floor and Zuko hears a sob. She cries almost in silence, and Zuko pulls her close, trying ever so hard to hold back his own hiccups and sobs.

While Mai was pregnant, they worried a lot about the prospect of parenting. Zuko worried that he'd turn out like his father: negligent and withholding of love; devoted more to his work than to his family. Mai feared that she'd emulate her mother's parenting, restricting her child's individuality and happiness, or worse – being simply Mai. Would her child think her emotionless? Would she be able to convey her love? These worries were all laid to rest, though not at all in the way the pair had hoped.

At sunset, they tuck their daughter in for the first and last time.


	3. Progress

Thanks to _Nekotix_ and _Private Fire _for the reviews!

**Notes: I'm not quite satisfied with this one. It has much less direction than the first two. Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome.**

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**Chapter 3: Progress**

Zuko is always incredibly warm.

Mai notices this after she wakes up to two strong arms wrapped her. Trying to wiggle out of his tight embrace, she gives up, deciding that their current position isn't _that_ bad…though she'd deny it in an instant if Zuko were to wake up.

His breath ghosts over the back of her neck. The sunlight casts an orange glow on their bodies and for once, Mai doesn't hate the color. She runs her hands across the arms that hold her. His skin is fire to her fingertips.

Everything about Zuko is fire.

His resolve, his golden eyes, the love he has for his people –and for her, all are like the very flames he emits from his hands: eternally passionate.

Sometimes, Mai envies Zuko. To wear her heart on her sleeve, to put passion into all she does, such abilities have never come easy to Mai. And while she feels safest under a mask of indifference, she can't help but wonder what it must be like to laugh freely, or to cry openly.

Two arms tighten around her waist; a gentle reminder. Mai remembers how before him, she had no idea that it was possible to love a person so ardently. Before him, she had never kissed with such urgency, or whispered quite so softly. Before him, she remembered being happy, but not smiling quite as often as she did now. With him, she had made progress.

She smiles softly and presses a kiss to his shoulder.


	4. Lonely Nights

This one follows Mai during_ The Promise_ while Zuko is away dealing with affairs in Yu Dao. Apologies for not updating sooner, I was working on a completely different drabble and I really hated it once I finished it, so I decided to scrap it and start this one instead. Constructive criticism and reviews are always welcome!

Thanks to those who favorited, viewed and reviewed!

- E

**Disclaimer: (I probably should've done this in the first chapter, but I forgot) I do not own A:TLA. **

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**Chapter 4: Lonely Nights**

Mai rolls over to the other side of the bed. She opens her eyes to an empty room, her only companion in the night the sound of her own breathing. Her fingers dance across the extra pillow next to her head and the cold sheets beside her. After laying there for a moment, she pulls the sheets around her body, trying to emulate the warmth she so dearly misses.

It was not six months ago that the nights were warmer, the bed smaller, the orange glow of the morning much more tolerable. The first assassination attempt had made them uneasy. By the third, Zuko had decided that they should sleep in their own respective homes, that it would be safest.

On the contrary, Mai had protested, they'd be safest in numbers. No assassin would keep her up at night.

But the assassins were after _him_, Zuko argued back, not her. He saw no need to jeopardize her safety in the slightest. And after a bout of name calling, raised voices, and tender kisses, Mai reluctantly complied.

They reverted back to the habits practiced in their early days of dating: holding one another close as the sun began to set, but retiring to their own beds before night settled in. However, those nights, too, became increasingly rare as Zuko was called off to deal with affairs in the colonies. When he was back at home, his steps seemed so heavy and his speech so slow that Mai urged him to rest rather than stay awake for her sake.

Still unable to sleep Mai sat up and glanced out her window. She smiled softly at the sight of Zuko's darkened, bed-chamber windows. At least one of them had found rest that night. She laid down again, resolved to do the same.

* * *

As much as Mai enjoyed her peace and quiet, life had gotten lonely. Ty Lee had gone off with that one girl she occasionally played Pai Sho with, Suki, along with the other Kyoshi Warriors, and Azula to the psychiatric hospital. She found herself appreciating Zuko back home more and more. Not only was he her boyfriend, but she genuinely enjoyed simply being in the company of another person –not that she'd openly admit it.

She makes the walk across the street to the palace, a bounce in her step. A servant answers her knock to the door.

"The Fire Lord is out, Miss," he says before slamming the door in her face.

She scowls at the servant's poor etiquette, strutting away from the palace doors in disgust. Children bounce a ball off the outer palace walls and she turns to snap at them, but her eyes are drawn to an official notice hanging nearby. She tears it from the wall; her eyes attempting to ignore the picture of Zuko that lies in the center, and begins to read.

Riots in Yu Dao. The Harmony Movement. Citizens refusing to comply. The Fire Lord.

He left yesterday morning?

The ball rolls over to her feet and the children look over at her, smiles on their faces, and politely ask her to kick it over. Mai shoots them a glare before storming back to her house.

Upon returning home, Mai contemplates sending Zuko an especially nippy messenger hawk along with a particularly foul and sarcastic letter. Instead, she sends Ty Lee and Suki a dry letter inquiring about their well-being on the back of the notice. They arrive in the Fire Nation two days later.

The air seems even colder that night, the bed even larger. Mai goes to sleep cursing the deceiving dark bedroom window across the street, and the man who used to sleep there.


	5. Hands

**Chapter 5- Hands**

Their hands are beaten and worn.

The tops of her hands are pale and soft, and her fingernails are long and well kept. It's her callus topped fingertips that bear evidence to her life outside proper manners and feigned smiles. It's the finesse in the movement of her fingers, her acute reflexes. It's the faint marks that cross her skin, making the palms of her hands mosaics that whisper of a time long past when she fumbled with the knife and the blade rarely hit its mark.

His are coarse and dry. The skin of his hands are cracked, his palms are callused, their touch like sandpaper. His fingers have known both fire and sword, crossed paths with benders and non-benders alike. Dirt collects underneath his fingernails and regardless of whether or not he kindles a fire, his palms are always uncommonly warm.

These hands meet one another, palm to palm, wrist to wrist, and there's a shared pulse between them that rattles their very bones and steals the breath from their lungs. It binds them.

These are the hands that have delivered a tender touch, as well as a wounding blow. These are the hands that drove cities to chaos, bright eyes to tears, and brought people to their knees. These are the same hands that held each other close, that displayed great courage on a prison gondola, and brought a nation back standing on its feet.

Their hands are beaten and worn. They've created and destroyed. They've fought. They've loved.


	6. Picnic

**Chapter 6: Picnic **

"Mai, please?"

"No,"

"Come on,"

"I don't understand why you thought a picnic, of all things, would be enjoyable in this weather,"

"Can we just-" Zuko held the bridge of his nose, "The servants already made and packed us a lunch and I've got the blanket. Let's just try to enjoy ourselves."

Summers had never been pleasant for Mai. The heat was unbearable and she hated the way it made her hair stick to the back of her neck. The humidity made her skin feel moist. She had half the mind to send Zuko away if he kept insisting on a picnic, but meetings had become frequent, and time spent in each other's company had become rare. And so Mai followed an overjoyed Zuko out into the gardens.

* * *

"How does this spot look?" Zuko asked. He pointed to a patch of grass in the shade of one of the bigger trees on Mai's property.

Mai gave him a dismissive glance, agitated at how her bangs were already sticking to her forehead. He set down the blanket anyways and she wordlessly sat down beside him. He brought out the food and immediately began to eat, looking over at Mai occasionally to gauge her reaction.

Mai sighed, making a point to nibble at her food only when he looked away.

Eventually Zuko's eagerness died out. The obnoxious yet endearing glances ceased, and he chewed slowly, his mind elsewhere. At one point, he brought out watermelon slices, not offering any to Mai, but making sure to leave a couple of slices out for her.

Mai felt a twinge of guilt. He always tried so hard to please her, and she always seemed like she, well, tried so hard _not_ to be pleased. Gratitude was always there –she truly did appreciate his efforts- but it rarely made its presence known.

He felt her gaze after a while, and in return he shot back a quizzical expression.

Juice dribbled down his chin. Mai's nose crinkled in disgust.

"You've got watermelon all over your face."

"Do I?" Zuko grinned, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"Ew! Zuko! Stop it!" she pushed him off, wiping her sticky cheek with her sleeve. "I'm not in the mood," she huffed. A watermelon seed rested at the corner of his mouth, brow furrowed, a pout on his lips. He looked ridiculous, and Mai found it hard to ward off a smirk.

Sensing the subtle change in her demeanor, a spark returned to Zuko's eyes.

"Really?"

And then he pounced.

Mai yelped as this time he kissed her full on the mouth. She tipped, and lay sprawled on a particularly itchy patch of grass, with Zuko straddling her hips, his hands cupping her face, she could feel him grinning through his incessant kisses. Mai struggled weakly from under him and her half-hearted protests were swallowed by his lips. Eventually she gave up, kissing him back with equal fervency; her hands went to his hair.

They pinched, and teased, and yelped, and the mood was more so light-hearted and young than urgent and lusting. They smiled and laughed into one another's lips, each movement lazy and slow because they had all the time in the world.

Attempting to support himself on his forearm while moving his other hand to her ribcage, he slipped, his face landing on Mai's chest. Much to her own surprise, Mai found herself laughing and Zuko found himself momentarily reveling in the fact that he felt, more than heard, her laughter in his current position.

He blushed and scowled at her teasing gaze before he began peppering kisses to her collar-bone, making his way to the soft, smooth skin of her neck where he licked and sucked. She hummed her approval as he simultaneously ran his hands up and down her sides. His lips moved to the base of her throat and she gasped when his hands began to wander. Cupping his face in her hands, Mai urged Zuko up for a tender kiss.

"So," Zuko panted in between kisses, "not…in the mood...huh?" He paused, sitting up, his voice breathless. Under him, she struggled to regain her breath and her gaze fastened on his. Those gold pupils held a certain glint to them. They were intense and playful all at once and they were trained on Mai in such a way that made her head spin.

He raised an eyebrow, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he waited for her reply.

Mai scoffed and pulled him back down to her, sighing into his lips.


	7. Communication

**Rating: T (on the heavier side)**

**A/N- I actually wanted this particular chapter to be similar to _Hands_ in style, but it was developing rather slowly. I threw together this piece (which, mind you, also took a while to write) instead: another shameless kissing moment. Hopefully I'll finish up the one I was originally working on in better time than this one. **

**Thanks again to those of you who've read, favorited, and reviewed. It's awesome to get feedback from you guys.**

**Enjoy!**

**-E**

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**Chapter 7: Communication**

He's at it again. Mai can tell by the way his eyebrows knit together, and by the way he stares off into the water as if the answer to all his questions will suddenly appear on the horizon, or wash up upon the shore. She sees him tearing himself apart and her gut is telling her to leave him be, that what he needs is to be alone because, if anything, she'd only make things worse. Words are not her forte.

There's a certain fear that begins to overwhelm her and she doesn't know why as she tentatively makes the ten step journey across the cottage balcony to his side. He audibly exhales, acknowledging her presence, and she stares off into the vast blue with him, in hopes that maybe she can help him find this answer that he's been searching for.

Waves crash on the shore, birds cry from the skies, but all Mai can hear is the sound of them not talking. She's hesitant to place her hand on his and instead just moves it a bit closer. She sighs, "You're not _still_ brooding over last night, are you?"

His eyes snap to hers for a moment, and that fear returns; this time stronger. She's said something wrong. She must've. Was that anger in his eyes? It had to be. There was no doubt about it.

Mai picks at the skin on her fingers. The sun beats down on them making her face burn. She thinks that she's had enough of the outdoors…

Mai freezes as Zuko lets out a sigh. When he speaks, his voice isn't angry, but it's not sad either. It's tired, and slow, and it reminds her of his voice just as he's about to fall asleep, except that it's lacking in that sense of serenity. "The more I think about it… I'm just –I don't know- confused."

The entire island seems to breathe a collective sigh of relief. Mai moves a bit closer, leaning against his shoulder. They stand next to one another, letting the crying gulls and crashing waves do the talking.

"I've done what he's wanted. I've done the right thing…But why doesn't it feel that way?" his words echo last night's.

She doesn't know how to respond. Zuko's relationship with his father is a topic they don't speak much of, and Mai curses the way her mind goes blank on what to say next.

"Zuko, you did everything you could," Mai says after a while, "No one can ask for more than that."

He says nothing in return, and it makes Mai ache. She wants to say something, anything, to raise his spirits. She wants him to smile more, and for him to sleep easier at night, so she comforts him the only way she knows how…

He's surprised at first, but he's quick to kiss back, doing so deeply and with ardor. His hands fall to her hips, pulling her close, and hers settle on his chest, as she steadies herself against him.

The realization that they're in plain sight doesn't strike them until they part for air. They backpedal towards the cottage, stealing delicate pecks as they go. As soon as the balcony door slides shut behind them, the temperature between them rises, despite the shade provided by the indoors.

She kisses with the intent of comforting him, her words of love and support leave her lips a very different way. And Zuko lets her sweep him away. His fingers weave through her sea of hair, her embrace is strong, and Zuko knows that _this_, at least, is right; it _feels_ right. And it's this distinct feeling keeping him afloat in the rapids of his mind as he drowns himself in Mai.

Her hands explore the exposed, taut muscle of his chest and abdomen and Zuko trails fervent kisses to her neck. Through half-lidded she can make out a furrowed brow, creased not in thought, but by the heat of the moment. A sense of fulfillment washes over Mai and she lets herself get swept away in the heat of the moment, leaning back in Zuko's embrace, letting him warm her skin with trembling hands and strained breath.

She pulls him up for a kiss, and he delivers one so searing that her knees nearly buckle. It's then that they remember that they're still standing in the middle of the room, so Mai moves back and Zuko guides until her back is pressed up against the wall for support.

Zuko's hands and lips become more deliberate and confident after that and he begins to tug at her shawl. Mai tries to scoff, but she doesn't have enough air to do properly and it catches in her throat, leaving her throat like a labored pant.

"Don't think that you're any good at this," she's breathless. It's hard for her to believe that this is the same Zuko who not so long ago had bumped tooth and nose and even drooled, ruining intimate moments such as these. But he's a quick learner and Mai finds herself struggling to find opportunities to tease him.

He makes a point by working his hands up her shirt, sending burning heat to his fingertips and she can't help but purr. The way his breath comes out in puffs on her collarbone informs her that he's snickering. Mai draws her nails down his torso in retaliation, and he groans, pressing her body flush against the wall with his own.

Mai takes this opportunity to explore his jaw, her tongue tasting salt: a combination of sweat and their ocean swim earlier that day.

They're vaguely aware of the front door opening and closing. Voices from the next room over carry through the walls, but their hips are pressed flush against each other and they just couldn't care less at this point about the cottage's other occupants.

Her leg coils itself around his waist, and a fiery hand glides up a pale thigh, amused as they run over the various weapons strapped in place. Hot breath ghosts past his ear and his free hand travels to the soft skin of her ribcage. In surprise and pleasure Mai arches back, her head hitting the wall with an audible thump.

She hisses, and Zuko kisses his apology to her flushed skin.

"Mai? Zuko? Are you guys here?"

The kisses cease. Mai feels Zuko's warm breath on her neck as he laughs softly.

He touches his forehead to hers, placing one final kiss of gratitude on her lips before they straighten up and head out to meet Azula and Ty Lee.


	8. Nightmare

**A/N: I plan to participate in _Maiko Month 2013_ by writing one shots which I'll just add to Lost Moments. I definitely won't be able to get to all 31 prompts, and I most probably won't end up posting them in order, but I'm definitely excited about turning this into a big project for myself! **

**Also, I feel like I should decide sometime in the near future how long I should continue writing under Lost Moments - if it should end around 30 or 50 or 100. **

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**Maiko Month Theme 16: Nightmare**

**Chapter 8: Nightmare**

Zuko grows to hate dreaming. He thinks it an awful sentence to walk the corridors of the palace, and smell the fire lilies of the gardens every night, only to open his eyes to a cold dark room, on a ship sailing through hollow waters as he waits for nothing.

At night his demons slither out from the shadows, their voices echoing off the walls of his lonely bedroom chamber. The last scornful words of a father and the taunting laugh of a sister call upon treacherous thoughts, making the scarred skin of his face burn once more.

His mother calls his name, slipping away into the vast night as soon as his fingers graze the silk of her robes. Her appearances leave him pained and lost, tortured as he must endure her departure again and again –yet he finds himself yearning for her visits. He imprints her warm embrace and the softness of her voice and eyes into his mind because he knows that without doing so, one day, not only will she slip away into the darkness, but she will also fade from his memory entirely.

And there's the girl. The girl with ebony hair and steely eyes and flushed cheeks like flower petals in spring, her presence like a whisper, he wonders how she came to lose herself in the fabric of his thoughts. He cannot fathom why she, of all people, slips in and out of his dreams and nightmares, woven in between the halls of the Fire Nation Palace, among his mother, and sister, and father. Her presence is eerie to him –but not unwelcome. He's comforted and haunted by the memories of fountains and apples and flushed cheeks.

She never says a word and only occasionally does he catch her stealing a glance at him. And there are times he calls out to her, trying to recall the way her voice rasped just so. It's to no avail. She's like trying to catch smoke, slipping from his outreached arms and dissipating into nothing, like the fire lilies of the garden, or his mother and father and sister, each and every night.

He is consumed by these nightmares and daydreams, visited by the specters of his mind, still wandering the palace gardens while his ship sails nowhere halfway across the world.


	9. Hush

**Maiko Month 2013: Theme 5: Hush**

**A/N: I actually had a really hard time writing this one. The theme, _Hush_, proved problematic for me because I was at a complete loss for ideas. After playing around with a few one-shot ideas, I ended up interpreting the theme "Hush" less as a silence, and more as the absence of words. I know, the two sound pretty interchangeable, but hopefully I was able to convey the difference between the two with this one-shot. **

**Also, since the last two chapters (including this one) have been from Zuko's POV, expect the next one to be from Mai's! **

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**Chapter 9: Hush**

He's tried time and time again, but the words never seem to fully leave his lips. On occasion it's a messenger hawk or a servant interrupting, but more often than not Mai is the one to stop him, stealing the words off his breath with a kiss.

It happens so often, that he begins to suspect that there's some deliberateness to it all. And a buried uncertainty and fear resurfaces inside him. He argues adamantly with himself that her timid smile, the ardor behind her kisses, the tenderness of her touch, and that gleam in her eyes -none of that could be feigned if she did not truly reciprocate his feelings. He knows that they share something, he can feel it. It makes his head swim and his pulse hammer. But regardless, his inability to dictate what he feels plants a seed of doubt in his mind.

* * *

They're taking a palanquin ride through the capital when they come across a couple cooing their affections to one another, taking no notice as they crossed right in front of the palanquin.

Zuko throws them a disgruntled look, but they're too preoccupied to take notice. However, he's quite convinced that they were, in fact, choosing to ignore him and he opens his mouth to give them a scolding comment, but hesitates when he hears Mai scoff beside him.

He turns to her expecting that scoff to be directed at him, he's surprised when he sees that she's aimed it at the enamored couple.

"What?" he voices his confusion.

Mai wrinkles her nose, "They're acting like idiots."

Zuko agrees, and then a moment later he feels himself almost taking offense.

"Well, I mean, I guess it's sort of…sort of sweet," he's incredulous as his own words leave his mouth. "To be in love, I mean," he trails off.

Another scoff.

"To be a fool is more like it," he hears her mutter.

* * *

His mind wanders back to her words later that afternoon. They're lounging on her bedroom couch, and she's curled up on his chest. He's entranced by the way she rises and falls with his chest as he breathes, captivated by the smell of her hair and how her lashes look brown in the sunlight. And Zuko wonders what _this_ could possibly be. Because whatever _this_ is, he wants so desperately to give a name to it, to give it permanence.

He vaguely hears her speak, and he hums his acknowledgment.

"Zuko," Mai says again, rolling over so that she can rest her arms and head across the upper part of his torso, the rest of her body flush against his. He is instantly pulled back to the present.

"What's wrong?" she asks, searching his face. He feels her belly contract as she lets out a sigh. "Look, if it's about what I said earlier…"

She speaks with delicacy, her fingers absent-mindedly trailing across his collar-bone. It's not long before Zuko's focus shifts from her words to Mai in her entirety. He adores the way her eyebrows knit together and the way every word she says seems to ride out on a sigh. He could count each of her eyelashes if she let him –and if she didn't blink quite so often. She shifts, and his whole body aches for the split second her body leaves his. There's a distinct fuzzy feeling in his head that he gets when she's around and today is no exception. When she inhales, she seems to steal his breath in the process. Mai is…

Suddenly his mind goes blank. A part of him begins to panic, but then it hits him. Zuko comes to realize that there is no word to describe the way Mai's cheeks bloomed with color, or her yawn, the faint freckle on the back of her neck, or the airiness of her laugh. No word would ever do the dizziness in his head justice.

"…and I do a lousy job of showing it. But I really do-" he cuts her off; placing a finger to her lips. Taking Mai's hand in his own, he presses a kiss to her skin. Her lips are parted, unsure of what to make of the situation, but she soon snuggles back into her original position.

They lie in silence, contentment washing over them. Because this, whatever _this_ may be, isn't a simple four letter word. It is simply Mai, and simply Zuko.


	10. Lust

**Maiko Month 2013 Prompt 3: Lust**

**Rating T:** for some heavier making out. Nothing explicit.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Lust**

She doesn't remember exactly how it happened.

One moment they're enduring Azula and Ty Lee's pestering remarks, tempers running short, and the next moment they're storming out of the royal dining hall. Now they're out in the palace gardens, kissing next to the fountain. Sometime in between that sequence of events, Zuko lost his left shoe, Mai misplaced her vest, and half of her hair had come undone.

She's reveling at how his hands feel like fire on her skin and how he moves with a certain type of hunger, as she snakes her own hands into his hair. Her eyes flutter open as he tilts her chin up, deepening the kiss –and they stay open.

Two beady eyes grab her attention and she catches sight of a turtle-duck as it floats, unmoving, on the surface of the water; it looks particularly disgruntled by the show they've put on. Instantly, she becomes aware of the warm afternoon sunlight, the smell of spring hanging in the air, movement in the gardens as a couple of butterflies peruse the flowers, and how out-of-place their current activities seem to be.

"Zuko," she murmurs in between kisses. Finding it difficult to deliver the last part of her statement, she's tempted to give up and give in to the heat of the moment. This reluctance is quickly remedied by a pair of eyes and an impatient ruffle of tail-feathers.

"Zuko," Mai repeats, this time pulling away. "We're out in the open. In broad daylight," she shifts uncomfortably.

"So what?" he mumbles in reply. Unable to gain access to her mouth, he moves down her neck, sucking and biting, tasting the salt from the sweat collecting on her skin.

Her eyes roll back, but she catches herself, focusing on the uncomfortable feeling of being watched. She drops her arms from his torso, choosing to let them hang limp at her sides. Zuko pays this action little attention, taking it as an opportunity to pull her tighter against him.

Glancing around the palace garden, she's adamant not to make eye-contact with their spectator. She's thankful for the fountain as it drowns out the sounds of Zuko going at her neck. They're probably quite the spectacle.

_If only Ty Lee and Azula could see us now_, she muses to herself.

"Come on, Zuko," she says with a tinge of annoyance, "We _need_ to stop."

His reply is almost completely incoherent, though it's something to the effect of, "I _need_ you." Mai frowns, unsure of whether to be amused or agitated. His hands begin to bunch up the fabric of her dress at her hips, and she pushes them away only for Zuko to move them up to her waist. Mai stands there, at a loss for what to do next.

She's enduring Zuko's roaming hands when the idea strikes her. It takes a large amount of effort to hold back a smile as she feels the anticipation growing inside her.

The hand at the small of her back travels lower, and the hand on her stomach slides higher, curving into the swell of her chest. Mai sighs, rolling her eyes. And mistaking her sigh for pleasure, Zuko's movements grow faster, eagerly pulling her in to him.

She struggles to slide her arms between them, placing her hands on his chest. Then she bends her head down, urging him up to deliver a searing kiss. He smiles, convinced that he's finally gotten her in the mood. They continue on like this for a moment, before Mai travels to the underside of his jaw. She does her best to mimic the enthusiasm he displayed earlier. He groans as she makes her way to his earlobe.

"I think," she whispers, her lips grazing his ear just so. She's pleased when she elicits a shudder, pleased that she has him wrapped around her little finger. Her hands stop roaming his chest, "that you need to cool off."

A panicked series of quacking follows the splash of Zuko tumbling into the water.

"HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO END UP IN A FOUNTAIN?!" Zuko bellows as he attempts to shake an infuriated turtle-duck off of his shirt.

He looks absolutely ridiculous: glowering and sopping wet, his bottom lip jutting out like a child. Mai can't help but laugh and she throws him a saccharine smile before turning to leave. She gasps when she's grabbed by the forearm, Zuko dragging her in with him.

She gasps and sputters, struggling to climb out, but Zuko grabs a hold of her wrists, looking her straight in the eyes.

"What was that for!?"

Mai stares back at him, and Zuko feels himself shrinking away as he recognizes the glint in her eyes to be the same one she wears in the thrill of combat.

She dives in, kissing him full on the mouth. It's the kind of kiss that makes his head spin. His grip on her slackens, and before he realizes it, she's made her escape, scampering away.

This time, he is the one to sigh. Grumbling as he picks himself up, he chases after her.


	11. Injustice

**Maiko Month Prompt 2: Injustice**

**Chapter 11: Injustice**

He doesn't think it fair that she hides her smiles and deprives the world of her breathy laugh.

And sometimes, he wonders if she does it out of selfishness, stealing the warmth from the air, and the sun from its rightful place in the sky just to keep it all for her own.

In truth, it's more rewarding this way. To see the sun break through clouds of gray after what seems like an eternity makes its light that much brighter, and basking in its warmth all the more pleasant. To know that it was he who brought upon this spell of fair weather only makes the skies clearer and the flowers more vibrant.

It's under these blue skies that he understands why she wants to lock this utopia away –he wants it for his own too, but for different reasons than she. She paints gray clouds to hide behind, so afraid that she'll have no idea how to live under the sun, while he covets it all for himself.

But he's soon to realize his own avarice. He's quick to remember that everyone deserves their own day under the sun. And so he works to coax a smile from her lips, because when her laughter shatters gray silence, she breaks into a grin, her eyes disappearing at the very same moment the sun emerges from behind shadowy clouds. He works to make the sun shine a bit longer, because the world could use more warmth and light.

To hide away the sun would be to deny the world life.

And what an injustice that would be.


	12. Entanglement

**MM 2013 Prompt 7: Entanglement **

**Chapter 12: Entanglement **

Zuko never believed in soul mates. He never gave the sailors' talks of folk stories, and strings of fate, and the women waiting back home a second thought. The only love he had ever desired was that of his father, and mother, and sister, and uncle.

Yet it's here, in the throne room of Ba Sing Se, after three long years that he can feel the threads around his ankles begin to slacken. He shivers as he's faced once again with the familiar dark hair and captivating eyes, the familiar hammering in his chest.

He recalls each time he was rocked to sleep by waves of his childhood, her ghost flickering on the walls of his bedroom chamber. She appeared in the strangest of ways: the red of an apple, the weight of the mud as it clung to the soles of his shoes; she wove herself into the last three years of his life, another tether to home.

She's no longer specter, no longer the blush of the blossoms as they fall to earth or the sigh on the ocean breeze. He's finally standing before her after three long years, countries and oceans away from the fountain in the garden where it all began.

What a strange occurrence of chance.

Or maybe he was tangled up in Mai all along.


	13. Lightning

**MM Prompt 9: Lightning**

**A/N:** _The past few themes I've written have been relatively short, vignette-like in nature (fan-nette?). Hopefully once finals wrap up I'll be able to tackle longer pieces. _

_Also, thanks so much to those of you who've been reading and reviewing. I really can't thank you enough._

* * *

**Chapter 13- Lightning**

He comes in flashes.

His golden eyes. His disgruntled frown. A fountain and a garden. Her past illuminates the walls of her bedroom chamber as the walls of her house creak with the storm.

The thunder rumbles, shaking her to her core, and for a split second she can feel it. The sting of her lungs as she gasps for air at the sight of his face covered in mud, an apple atop her head, the distinct thrill of his gaze on the back of her neck. It's a whisper on her skin as a roll of thunder washes over her.

But the sensation doesn't last forever. The thunder diminuendos back below the patter of the rain, and she waits for the lightning. Here a moment. Gone the next. She yearns for the flicker of lights across the sky, and the deep rumble that follows it.

And she is reminded of the day he left. There one moment. Gone the next. A Fire Nation prince condemned to a life at sea, he vanished into nothingness like an unanswered flash of lightning. Three years past, he returns the very way he left. Mai can only watch as her memories of him shatter across the raging sky for a brilliant instant, before flickering away without a trace.

He leaves in flashes.


	14. Family

**MM Prompt 12: Family**

**Chapter 14- Family**

"Come on, Mai,"

"Zuko, this isn't a good idea. I think I've thrown a knife at every single person in there."

"And I burned down their villages," he says as he pulls her inside the throne room.

Mai blames herself. It was her own fault for going off to find the idiot after his coronation and now she had to deal with the consequences. There's no getting away from Zuko, so she juts out her chin and does her best to look uninterested.

The room comes alive with noise and before she knows it, they're surrounded. The waterbender girl and the Kyoshi warrior are chirping about how inspirational the speech was and how proud they are. The boy with the boomerang is hashing out critiques while the Avatar says something about a 'hot-man.' The little blind girl marches right up to Zuko and gives him a congratulatory punch.

"I know that I already thanked Aang back there," Zuko says after things calm down, "but none of this could have been possible without any of you. So thank you." Mai watches the way he speaks to them, at ease and with a smile on his face. She feels herself shrink away at the warmth they return to him, overwhelmed by the constant chatter and overall joviality.

"Don't thank us just yet," the watertribe boy says as he and the others lead Zuko away from her, "We've still got plenty to take care of, like the Fire Nation territories-"

"And repaying the damages done to the watertribes!" chimes in the Avatar.

She sighs, a bit disappointed to see Zuko leave with them, but she can't say that she's disappointed to miss the awkward introductions and uncomfortable small talk. It's the perfect opportunity to make her escape and she heads for the door.

"Mai," a hesitant voice calls after her. It's the watertribe girl. "Are you coming?"

She can taste a sarcastic remark on her tongue and her feet itch to move towards the door, but the girl looks at her with a welcoming smile and hopeful eyes. Mai bites her tongue and follows a beaming watertribe girl towards the others.

It doesn't take long for her to learn names and catch on to the dynamic of the group. They're boisterous, and they bicker, and there's more than one pair stealing glances at each other. She sips her tea next to Suki, who seems to be the one who talks the least out of all of them. The girl had greeted her with a pleasant smile, though Mai can't understand why –especially considering the terms they had first met on. But Mai accepts this gesture of peace, thankful for the lack of confrontation.

She looks over to see Toph and Sokka cracking jokes about Zuko's hair. He grumbles back about it being a traditional Fire Nation hair style that's not to be mocked. He does his best to maintain his offended expression, but it's not long before he breaks out into a grin with them.

_"They're like family,"_ Zuko had told her just after the coronation. She had scoffed at his comment, but now she sees what he means.

They're loud and immature; a moment hasn't passed without someone choking on laughter. They're cheerful, and they're by far the most obnoxious group of people she's ever met. It's contagious.

She catches herself smiling at times, making the occasional comment and receiving six other smiles in return. And at the end of the night she's not exactly keeled over and in tears like the rest of them, but she is laughing.

It's a lot to take in, but Mai wants to be a part of this. Maybe not today, and maybe not even next month, but she's curious about how it feels to get dizzy from laughter and she's slightly intrigued their very odd sense of humor. She wants to eventually experience this very different comradery they have with one another.

All in good time, of course.


	15. Scars

**MM Prompt 17: Scars**

**Rating: T, as it alludes to some sensual themes**

* * *

**Chapter 15- Scars**

Everybody knows about the scar on his face. It is his three years of banishment, his marred relationship with his father. It is every regret, misguided flame, and biting word, every mistake he has ever made. For three years it defined his very existence, and sometimes, on hopeless sorrowful nights, he feels like it continues to do so.

There are days when he lives in fear of his own reflection, when he feels as if the scar burns him once more, the angry flesh consuming his entire being. And he broods, and shakes his fists, cursing the man he used to be.

Rarely does he remember the star-shaped blemish that rests on his abdomen. The one of redemption, of love and sacrifice, he forgets even though the very thing to soothe his aching flesh sits plainly on his stomach.

And so she guides fingertips across the blemished skin that truly matters, and presses soothing kisses to the scar that hurts. This scar is friendship. It is selflessness. It is peace. This scar is the mark of the man who rebuilt a nation.

He is marked by two scars of despair and hope, loud against the canvas of his skin.

And Mai is entranced by everything else.

She kisses the rough skin of his knuckles, and touches her fingertips to parted lips and soft eyelids, their lashes damp with tears. She can pick out the tiny white marks on his fingers from years of training, counting each as a moment lost at sea. Her nails carve her love down the length of his back and she can taste the sheen of sweat on his neck.

She can feel the strength in his frame when she wraps her arms around him, anchoring herself to earth; and his skin is searing, his ardor radiating off of him in waves. The shell of his ear, drawing out secrets from her lips. The expanse of his chest and the heart that lies beneath.

It is the man beneath the scars whom she loves. Courage and redemption alone, though admirable, do not captivate her heart. It is Zuko in his entirety.


	16. Sparring

**MM Prompt 18: Sparring**

**Chapter 16- Sparring**

There's something exhilarating about fighting hand to hand: a certain thrill that could not be emulated by the distance of knives and fire, yet there is still fire without the flame, and still a sharpness without the blade. They crave the distinct sensation of being palm to palm and pulse to pulse, the ebb and flow of chi between them.

Sparring becomes routine. The heat is addictive.

For Mai it's the rush of adrenaline, the way her rib cage aches as her breath rattles her frame, the satisfying sound of a fist hitting its mark. Her senses consume her as she takes in her opponent: his brow is knit together in concentration as he lunges forward only for his attack to be deflected. Rivulets of sweat collect on her skin as her heart hammers and her lip curls into a smirk. She feels so _alive_.

They're both stripped to the bare essentials, void of all articles of clothing that denote status. They spar not as the Fire Lord and Fire Lady, nor as firebender and knife thrower, but as equals; lithe and adamant they fight with finesse and ardor, their only obligations to one another.

It's this passion that Zuko yearns for. As they circle each other, attacks and blocks leave no room for feigned apathy. Zuko watches as Mai transforms before him. He can read the exuberance on her face, and see the intensity in her eyes. It puts him in awe to see her this way.

She calculates, analyzing each shuffle and bat of an eye, and countering with unrepressed avidity.

He responds in kind, with the same passion and heart that he's always possessed.

In the heat of combat they lose themselves. Stripped of restraint and duty they become alive.


	17. Promise

**MM Prompt 24: Promise**

**Rating: T for implied sex **

**A/N:** **This particular piece was the predecessor of, as well as the inspiration for my two-part story, _The Silk of Our Sheets_, which was separated from _Lost Moments_ which is where I dump my independent one-shots and whatnot.**

* * *

**Chapter 17- Promise**

They're still awkward. They still fumble with the clasps and buttons on their clothes, still unfamiliar with each other's bodies, and on occasion still knock teeth and bite too hard. They're young, and still fairly inexperienced. It's only recently that they've begun to share a bed, but Zuko's already grown used to the sight of her silhouette under his covers.

Zuko usually wakes up first, and today is no exception. There's a stillness in the morning air filled only with the sound of their breathing. Reluctant to leave the comfort of their sheets, he quietly takes in the splendor of the room, memorizing the ornamentation of the walls, counting each groove in the wood of his bedside table, and paying a great deal of attention to the girl beside him.

Mai drools when she sleeps.

Her hair is disheveled and her lips are parted, letting morning breath escape. The image completely goes against the dignified persona she tries so very hard to maintain. It's endearing.

Zuko resists the urge to wrap his arms around her, running a hand over her slender fingers instead. It's not long before her eyes flicker open. His breath hitches; he can see her returning from a dream as her gaze focuses in on his.

She's so real, her very presence erasing any doubt about the existence of the night before. Daylight breaks through his window on to covers shared by two. And in this way, his adoration for the mornings almost exceeds his love for the time spent in each other's company the night before –almost.

"Hey," he drawls.

She ignores him, closing one eye. Like a cat, she stretches out across their mattress, basking in the morning sunlight.

Zuko sighs, taking the sight of her in. One eye opens, and she freezes at the sight of him staring.

Mai shoots him a quizzical look, "What?" she yawns again.

He doesn't answer, instead pulling her close. She doesn't object, almost purring at the warmth of his embrace. The weight of her in his arms is comforting and he presses a chaste kiss to her nose, to her forehead, and then a final one to her lips. She sighs into the kiss, nuzzling into his chest.

In a short span of time, they've fallen into a ritual of waking up and cuddling under the covers, (though sometimes they engage in quite a bit more than snuggling) adamant to stay in bed until rising cannot be delayed any longer. His pillows have begun to smell like her: pink apple blossoms in the spring. And regardless of whether she stays the night or not, he sleeps all the way to the left –his side of the bed. On nights without her the bed's too big, the room too quiet, and the sheets too cold.

"Wake up next to me every day," he murmurs. The words leave his mouth unexpectedly and he immediately regrets them as he feels her go stiff in his arms.

She lays in silence, scoffing a moment later.

"I guess I could do that," her voice is soft: almost a whisper.

This time, her fingers on his chin, Mai is the one to pull him in for a kiss before nestling into the warmth of his arms.


	18. Scarlet

**MM Prompt 27: Scarlet**

**A/N:** **Let's face it: love reduces everyone to giddy fools. Mai and Zuko are no exception.**

* * *

**Chapter 18- Scarlet**

She can feel the familiar heat on her cheeks. And the knowledge that she is, in fact, blushing brings even more color to her face. Out of her peripheral vision she can see him waving to her, weaving through the mass of people, his guards trying their best to trail after him. It's a pitiful sight, really. Mai rolls her eyes, and pretending that she doesn't see him, continues on her way past shops and stalls.

She could always go to him, or let him catch up, Mai reasons. But she's feeling particularly difficult today and besides, she had gone to the market alone with the intent of just that: being alone.

Catching a glimpse of herself in a shop window, she's absolutely horrified to see that her face is a light shade of pink. She curses under her breath, agitated that she never outgrew this characteristic. Her scarlet cheeks had invited teasing comments from Azula and Ty Lee when she was younger, and it was usually Zuko's fault back then too.

The bloom of her cheeks mocks her in every way, a beacon calling attention to her shame. Despite the apathy in her expression, and the indifference in her voice, she becomes an open book, all her years of hard work gone in a deep flush of scarlet.

"Are you all right, Miss?" a concerned shopkeeper asks as she nearly knocks over his stall.

"I'm fine," she replies as she pushes past him. "It's just the heat," she fans herself despite it being a relatively cool day and hurries on her way.

She resents him for this. This is all his fault. It's every blush he brings to her face, and every giggle he draws to her lips befitting of a love struck school girl. With every purr of contentment and cliché phrase of encouragement, he's stripped her of her dignity, reducing her to a swooning fool.

Leaning against the cool wall of a teahouse, she stops to catch her breath.

He's started calling out her name; she rolls her eyes and braves a glance behind her. He's got this stupid grin on his face, and the way his eyes instantly light up when he sees that she's spotted him reminds her of the illuminated gaze of a child watching a firework. What an idiot. She looks at him fully, with confidence despite the color of her cheeks because he looks equally, if not more foolish. Mai lets a smile grace her lips. It's a comforting thought.


	19. Notes

**MM Prompt 22: Notes**

**A/N: **_A very, very late prompt. I'm trying to put together another project, so updates definitely won't come as often as they did during Maiko Month. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I cannot express in words how happy it makes me to see that people enjoy reading what I write. _

* * *

**Chapter 19- Notes**

She had ignored the signs –she should've seen this coming.

He'd flown into the room, stealing a kiss and pressing himself close against her, his lips searing. And he'd pulled away, words on his tongue, but she'd pulled him back, eager to lose herself in pleasure. Maybe that was her mistake. In her own greed and lust, she overlooked the way he clung to her in such desperation and sorrow, the way he whispered her name over and over: a prayer. Maybe she chose to ignore the tears settled in the corners of his eyes, deciding, instead, to indulge in all that he had to offer, because a part of her knew that it would be the last time.

When the sun rose the next day, he had kissed her lips while he murmured a goodbye before leaving her side with such evident reluctance.

Looking back at it all now, it's a wonder that she'd been surprised when she returned to a bed occupied only by a letter.

A piece of paper and some canvas. That's all she has left of him: a portrait and a letter. She's seen the way canvas chars, images devoured by avaricious fire. Paper burns. It withers under orange flames and wrinkles at the touch of tears. It's all so fragile. Just as likely to turn to ashes swept away in the wind as him, disappearing and leaving her with only a letter and aching loneliness.

He'd been unhappy –she knew that. There were some things a kiss couldn't fix, some things medicine couldn't cure, but she thought together, in each other's company, they'd at least be able to forget their troubles and remember how to smile again. How thoughtless of her.

Here a moment. Gone the next. He was home for such a short time. And she can't help but think that maybe this is all a sign: that he's destined to leave her no matter how many times he comes back.


End file.
